unknown

Sometimes I wonder....
if people already feel uncomfortable with their partner or if they’re starting to get tempted by someone new, why not just leave? why choose cheating instead?

Humans can be so confusing sometimes.
They don’t want to look like the bad person, but in the end, that’s exactly what hurts others the most.

If someone says they’re serious about you, asks for commitment, even confidently meets your parents but later it turns out those were just impulsive words bcause they were just curious about you, then isn’t that just irresponsible?

Like, “whatever, let’s just go for it now and see what happens later.”

From the very beginning, even my dad already told him what kind of person I am.

Over and over again, he kept giving reassuring words while repeating similar behavior at the same time.
And then he said I was too judgmental whenever he talked about certain things.

But everything has causes and consequences.
Even the phrase “cause and effect” was something I learned from him.

Funny thing is… he doesn’t even seem to understand what it really means.

He apologized and gave me a promise ring, yet he was still doing the exact same things at the time.

I even had this intuition about a girl he followed on Instagram.
I randomly said, “I think you have something going on with this girl, and the next day he unfollowed her.

But whenever i stopped paying attention to his social media, he would follow her again and like photos related to her.

At some point, instagram itself became a trauma for me to the point where i deleted it completely.

And the last one was the worst.

He was already brave enough to do those things in real life, not just on social media anymore.

While telling me he wanted to fix everything, he was also lying to another girl, saying he was single and that I was just his ex.

My last relationship really left a huge and deep wound in me.
To the point that i don’t even know how to heal myself anymore.

I know m not okay, but m too tired to ask for help.

He even read my online consultation with a psychiatrist and knew i was going through a depressive episode, but he didn’t care.

He knew i had psychosomatic issues and that my health wasn’t really okay, but he still didn’t care and chose another woman instead.

He knew… he definitely knew… yet he still did everything ....

But, once again ... he just a hooman being and so am i. 
Maybe it’s time to let him go,
and let him choose whatever he wants, whatever he thinks will lead him to his own happiness. :)